Montauk Boys
Identity translation technology first emerged from a biokinetic substrate of peacetime and anonymity, following the Breadfruit Reduction Incident of 1769. Linked to Project Montauk’s Tunnel Exclusion Caper, this effort allowed Mozart modules free reign over the greater Salzburg area for nearly a fortnight in early 1756; more than enough time for the injection of Wolfie 13. Incipient to the birth of the modern toaster, gang music sprang from the resulting operatic fusion, impinging on electric terrier deployment, delaying the onset of explosive dogs by well nigh a tourniquet’s limp horizon. Even so, time portals easily slaved away from subterranean yeast platoons in Montauk’s collocated gingerbread funnels, spewing classical herd detectors throughout the Dark Ages, seeding the feudal system with capital erector sets. Forests in the Rhine Valley were particularly suited to this infestation; hence the near-term impact of Teutonic idealism on pre-industrial composers. Boosts from periodic cruft injection, most notably the Baited Oven Endeavor, ensured the effort’s success. Following the invention of free-range flounder by Friendship 7, a moratorium was declared on artificial insemination of cyborgs, eventually resulting in the removal of JFK 17 from office. By mid-1962, Project Fast Forward had proved that Earth’s ecology would implode by 2050, in every viable timeline, due to a dearth of global leadership. Ironically, when JFK 17 committed the nation to its decadal march to the moon, he was actually seeding the deployment of Montauk’s massive time gate, through which he would travel to 2025. Yes, originally all viable timelines were deemed inconsistent, until Wolfie 9002 (a 15th-generation cyborg originally hatched from Philadelphia Experiment survivors) discovered a solution to Einstein’s field equations that indicated high survival probabilities (including flying cars, personal jet packs, and blue sky retrofits). This solution required the splicing of JFK 18 into a somewhat tenuous future, accessible via Godel rotating universe methods. Time-lock had to be achieved by the fall of 1963, so the splicing of 17 to 18 became a rush job (some would say botched) of the utmost priority and secrecy. The back end lock was trivial, requiring only a heavy water hamster and a rotating dirigible, stationed near the La Brea Tar Pits. The front end, however, was incredibly grungy. Given a few years, a Wolfie 95xx could’ve derived a closed form solution, but time ran out and the splicing had to be brute-forced in the now all-too-familiar explosion paradigm. Stranger still was the paradoxical necessity of mass world media feedback in the rotating universe. Pursuant to this, an A-Z 41 module was carefully prepared and situated, behind the Umbrella Man, ensuring optimal footage release, which had to be delayed until the early 1970s, due to the shortage of Geraldo units in this part of the galaxy.
Quenti Moliat Escajule
Creascient plunes
embento dreit zentermen,
pleffeming thom contular hisk.
Angume hocor tsen,
choupen egerian bripping,
in tagien purning.
Eisem etch clanormeid
bourmian twoul,
cen spithial boumin doun
wrateous crouter’s
orenmideon fleizen.
Chowsome bloncker
ooden zip staken
zue peirentium alicomia,
quenti moliat escajule?
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